Divorce and child custody disputes are difficult for the entire family but especially the children. Parents in Albuquerque can take steps to help ease their children through this time through planning and communication.

Parents should help their kids place the divorce in a certain perspective to ease their uncertainty and solitude. They can explain that other families, even celebrities they know, underwent divorce.

Talking negatively about the ex-spouse is among the worst things that can be done during this time. Both parents should work together on important issues. It is unwise to use children to deliver messages to the other parent during their visits. They should have this responsibility placed upon them. This also shows that the parents suffer from a serious lack of communication. Parents can use e-mail if they choose not to speak to each other.

Parents should also follow consistent rules during parenting time and speak to each other to develop them. Parents should run their homes similarly when the children are visiting or staying. Children have an easier time being with both parents when they follow similar routines.

It is important that children spend time with their family members, because they have different relationships with their parents, grandparents and other relatives. No family member should be excluded from contact with the child. These relatives may be receptive to listening to the child’s concerns and issues about the divorce.

Jealousy is part of human nature, but it should not involve the children. A child showing a preference for an ex-spouse or a former spouse being involved in a new relationship are among the things that can spark envy or at least curiosity. Children should not be interrogated or used to discover details about a former spouse on their visits.

Displaying jealousy in front of them should be avoided. Children’s privacy must be respected, but they should be assured that they can discuss problems with both parents.

An attorney can also assist a spouse with seeking a custody order that is reasonable and in the best interests of the child. Lawyers can also help ensure that their client’s right are protected.

Source: The Chicago Tribune, “From the community: Ways to make divorce easier on kids,” July 12, 2017